““You need vision and you need intention because you will not drift into the mind of Christ.” ”
Embarking on a strenuous trek through spiritual reformation, you might discover a significant amount of pain and discouragement along the way. However, you will not be alone and the alternative route is treacherous. A conversation…
While going deeper into the spiritual practice of fasting months ago, I was surprised to discover what some identify as regression as a result. This experience might manifest itself in several ways, but for me it was definitely anger. We’ve created a cute little word for this phenomenon in our modern vocabulary, hangry. Oxford defines hangry as: "bad-tempered or irritable as a result of hunger." Cuteness aside, at the core, it's really an anger problem. Beyond our need for food as fuel for our physical bodies, the act of temporary halting the natural function of eating could reveal our dependance on food for mental and even spiritual comfort.
So, when I began to take on Sabbath as the next spiritual discipline to climb, I was not completely surprised to discover some regression happening, but this pain and discomfort was oddly much deeper. Dark and lonely periods of discouragement and depression is more accurately stated. I am discovering how strongly I identify myself by what I do. Do. Do. Do. Always doing. I brag about it and apparently rely on it to maintain my happiness. If I'm not contributing, I feel worthless.
Henri Nouwen, the Dutch priest, has once again joined me as a fellow companion and counselor on this dark path. Re-formation, the larger journey to grow deeper in life with Christ, includes some associated pain. Hmmm…maybe this shouldn’t be so surprising after all. Reforming implies that what was previously made or allowed to be shaped is somehow in need of correction or breaking?! I'm learning again, that the shepherd of Psalm 23, uses a rod and staff as his instruments of guidance and correction; yet, I trust this shepherd and I know he is leading me to green pastures and quiet waters.
Nouwen also uses the LORD's Supper as an analogy for our lives. Like Jesus, as those beloved by God, we also might be…taken, blessed, broken, and given. (Matthew 26:26) Ponder that for a while.
Something else about shepherds though - they must, like other drivers of beasts, use repetition while those in their care learn to recognize the voice of instruction. Which is also my experience. Recently (and it seems beyond coincidence) I stumbled upon the same verses in Philippians from two very different sources that were the exact correction and comfort that I needed to hear again and to know. Henri talks about this too: "…light and darkness, hope and despair, love and fear are never very far from each other, and that spiritual freedom often requires a fierce spiritual battle."
So what were the verses in Philippians? Chapter 2: 3-4
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
Humility? Oh LORD, this one is going to hurt.
If there is pain, then what’s the point?? To master the Spiritual Disciplines? To be a good person? Ha, absolute NONSENSE!! It is to train for righteousness, to walk in life with Christ, resulting in the fruit of the Spirit - love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
"…So that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ." -Ephesians 4:12-13
